Getting Ready For Winter

Well fall is here in Lincoln! I am now going through my 2nd fall season living here and approaching on my 1 year anniversary of my pioneering to a new state. The air is crisp and cool, a big relief from the muggy warm heavy summer air, and a bout of freakishly severe thunderstorms! I am fixing to close up my back door with weather sealant for the next 6 months, and bringing in my swiss chard, watching the grass slowly die off, and the trees yawning by shedding their leaves and blanketing the ground with them....oh no, I have to start raking! arrrrgggg!!
I am making some xmas felted ornaments for my etsy shop, so far have made 6 birds and one set of 3 xmas trees....I have found a new love for felt. I still love fabric, but felt is my pride and joy right now as I start to prepare for the rough snowy coldwinter months ahead,...... why cant humans hibernate too? that would be nice!

Here's what you missed....

My last post before today was back in February. Long time! It is now october, I have lived here in Lincoln for just over 11 months now....I am finally settled and feel that way too, not missing kansas too much anymore these days, in fact, when I visit kansas, I miss nebraska! How crazy is that!? I enjoy my house, my hubby, my cats, have a few friends, my etsy shop is doing very well, and tomorrow, I celebrate life indeed as the anniversary of my birth (birthday) arrives come midnight tonight. I will be 28 years old in about 7 hours and I am ok about it. I look back on my 11 monthshere in nebraska and see that I went through both good and bad....I had a serious illness last summer, didnt get to thoroughly enjoy the outdoors, swim, tan, have picnics in the park and all that good stuff I was stuck indoors on antibiotics, bedrest, even have my hubby help wash my hair for me I was so weak!

unsure...

here's me with my cat, Ci-Ci....just as I was starting to get ill back in June. At this point, I was feeling weak and tired all the time, and nauseous, I actually thought I was pregnant at that point truthfully, but a simple visit to my doctor and a blood test later, showed that it was negative, and that my womb was still vacant, thus forcing me to look into this further, glad I did cause even in this picture, a potentially serious heart infection was setting into place (my strep throat relapse) which unfortuantly in the early stages the symptoms can match those of a pregnant woman in her first 2-4 weeks of gestation....gave me a "scare" but honestly now having gone though this awful illness, I would of rather been pregnant 10 times over....

Summer Illness

Here's me back in July right at the peak of my illness....I was struck with a very serious illness, well a relapse from strep throat I had back in april...I had an infection in my bloodstream and it spread to my heart and it had enlarged, chronic chest pains, weakness, extreme fatigue, no appetite....and yes, freakishly pale for being the summer months as seen here with my dark circles, I was laid out for almost 2 months, from June to August. I had put my etsy shop an vacation mode frequently, due to me feeling very weak...and then of course my chest pains got worse and worse, ended up at the E.R. one late july evening not being able to breathe and feeling extreme pressure in the left side of my chest, the staff at the hospital treated me like I was having a heart attack, but greatfully, the x-rays, bloodwork, and e.k.g. proved that I wasnt,they even tested for thrombosis (throwing blood clots into the lungs and/or heart which can be fatal) no sign of thrombosis in me! but I was diagnosed with such a condition called chostocodritis. It's an inflammation of the chestwall (ribcage cartilage) the cause is unknown. I still have occasional episodes to where it hurts to breathe and I still can have achy dull aches directly underneath my left breast, but at least it's not constant everyday anymore....was not a fun summer for me...

Studio Pics

This is my studio now, upstairs in my house, and yes very unorganized, but I feel I can breathe easier up here, it is closer to God anyhow... in the green chair you can see my cat, sabrina...

A Vacation To Home

Over last weekend, my husband and I ventured out of a cloud covered city to our old home town of Manhattan, KS...breathtaking as it was I looked at every building, street, landmarks like I was still trying to hold onto something. I knew it, the next 24 hours were all mine and I was home...I took pictures of almost everything that had some significance in my life. When we got to our hotel room, it felt so awkward, staying in a hotel in a town you once lived in, my old apartment was right there, but someone else now lives in it.

But for some reason, I felt a small tug from Lincoln...could it be true??? was I actually missing Lincoln? It can't be! Maybe it was because I left my 2 cats behind at my house? maybe Manhattan now seems like a small town? what the hell?

My hubby and I went about and tried to do as many normal routine things as possible like we lived in Manhattan...we went out to coco bolo's for lunch went to radina's coffee house for pre-dinner coffee, visited my in-laws, and shopped the next day...but when we were at hasting's book store, we both were trying to hold onto Manhattan as long as we could, the sun was past it's high point, the afternoon was rolling on, so we knew we had to leave and go back to Lincoln.

So we just decided to leave then and there instead of doing more things to keep us in town longer, or we would just never leave! So we started the 2 and a half hour long drive back up north to Nebraska. Of course after seeing tuttle creek lake, I started crying like a baby...it's true I am tugged between 2 states now, and every time I cross the Kansas/Nebraska border I will always blow a kiss to Kansas.

3 months and counting

Ok, as of today I have resided in Lincoln for exactly 3 months now. 12 weeks. 90 days. 2,160 hours. 129,600 minutes. Or 7,776,000 seconds. However you want to put it...I have spent 7.7 million seconds in this strange town, 1 second seems real quick, but nearly 8 million seconds equals 3 months. The winter is rough, the traffic is life threatening, the people are reserved, and my gas bills are high. So now living here 12 weeks, it has been a little easier now that I have total lay of the land. After 2 months of grey skies and nearly 4 feet of total snow accumulated, the sun came out for nearly 6 days straight and the temperature actually went above zero, the snow started to finally melt away showing the sleeping grass and dead twigs. Of course I speak too soon, it is now currently snowing AGAIN and 2 inches are already on the ground after only 1 hour, if it keeps this pace up all day, I will see another 18 inches by dinnertime. I have now seen enough snow to last me almost 3 lifetimes and there is still 7 weeks of winter left. I dream of leaves on trees, 70F weather, sunshine, and my tulips and daffodils at full bloom in my garden I tended just last November before the snows came. I dream of rainstorms, thunder, lightning, rainbows in the eastern skies, the air thick with moisture, lower gas bills. I dream of the yellow breasted meadowlark bird coming to my home and singing me a past time Kansas song. I dream of wearing cute skirts and short sleeved shirts instead of 3 layers of clothing.
I have always hated winter and it's blues but this winter has tested my will and strength like never before. I am already dreading the winter season of 2010-2011....will I ever see spring again? I still see beautiful winter birds fly around, and when the harsh north wind isn't blowing, there is momentary tranquility. I haven't seen my cat friend Jacks in 2 months, I miss him. Maybe he will show himself when the snow is gone, I hope.

Fail...

This is what I'm talking about when it comes to really deep snow...It was mid afternoon in late December. I was in my kitchen making some lunch when I heard an engine revving over and over again, so after 5 minutes I looked out my kitchen window that over looks my backyard, and I see this mail truck stuck in almost 3 feet of snow! This mailman was in my alley behind my house, well it was directly behind my neighbors house. He must have been there for over an hour until a tow plow got him out...

It Hasn't Been Easy...

Sorry to my blog followers for my 5 week absence...

It's been one hell of a ride. I have lived in Nebraska for a little over 6 weeks now and I am still as homesick as ever. I'm not just homesick for family, kansas, Manhattan, friends, my old routine, but I am also yearning for interaction, new friends, for my life to truly begin...sure there are kind people who lend me a few kinds words or small talk whenever I run my errands, but that's all I get these days. I know I am a very socialble person, I need people to survive and the last 6 weeks have truly been hell on earth for me. I am so glad cell phones were invented so I can keep my sanity just by calling family and friends and talking up a storm. Yes, I have higher cell phone bills than ever before bacause of it, and I don't care, neither does my husband. I find him doing the same things too, calling whoever he can, talking to those who strike up conversations in public, we both yearn for human contact. I have been told in the past to always be prepared for God's curve balls whenever he throws them at you, and this is the ultimate curve ball thrown at me in my life. Curve balls suck! I have not really seen the benefits of this yet, God gave me and my husband a new life in a new city and a new state, but for what? So we both feel miserable and lonelier than we ever have in our lives?! God's plan for me, right? I better be saving the world or something in the future, or becoming the mayor of Lincoln for this...I just now realized that as a kid, this was one of my greatest fear, now coming true at the age of 27...leaving my home and living in a strange place knowing absolutely no one. I never wanted to move, I always wanted to stay in my bed all warm and tightly tucked in. Now my bed is cold, I'm in it alone sometimes (when my husband is not here) in a very old strange house with so much history........and that brings me to another serious topic...with this house I now live in, I have fought a very spiritual battle with myself in this house. I even had to have my house blessed to rid of the little girl's tortured soul. Back in 1926, a little almost 4 year old girl died in my house (I did a little history on this house). She fell down my basement steps and died....the blood stain at the bottom of the stairs still remains to this day, of course I put a rug over it so I wouldn't have to look at it whenever I did laundry downstairs. Even though the little girl's spirit was kind, dainty, and playful it still scared me at my wits because of simply the unknown. I am still alive, I have never been to the other side, but when the priest came by to bless my house and send this little precious sould to God, I felt my mortality for the very first time in my life, and I now know that my life is fragile and could be gone at an instant, and that this earth is just a shell, my body is a shell. My belief system is shaken to the core, and I felt like anything could test my strength and spirituality in God. So in my house, I have crucifixes in almost every single room, the bible sitting out, and 3 rosaries in plain sight. I also have my 2 cats that at least keep me company by talking with their eyes and listening to me. Ci-Ci and Brie-Brie never leave my side, in fact they are both watching me very closely as I type. Maybe it's Christmas. It's a rough time of the year for emotions to try to run dry. Thankfully I am seeing my family in Kansas this year, it won't be enough time I know 4 days can go by very fast. I also think of my grandpa alot this time of year, since he passed away 3 years ago on Jan. 2nd.

Uncertainty...

Today may be a very beautiful day weather wise, but I must say that homesickness is really starting to set in now...I have been told to prepare for this at about week 2...and this would be my second week here in Lincoln...homesickness to me is one of the worst feelings in the world. It seems to affect me at such a physical and emotional level, I can literally get sick, as I am feeling right now...my stomach cramps up, I am weary but can't sleep, my body aches, and sometimes I feel sad...

I started job hunting, but no luck yet. So I consume myself into my minxden pillows...the evenings aren't as bad when my husband is home from work, but during the day, it can get quite lonely. I knew I was going to feel like this, and bless Sue's heart (my neighbor) she checks in on me to see how everything is going, she's very maternal. I ahve met some of the other neighbors around my block, but so far, Sue is really the only one I really like. Hopefully in a couple more weeks I will have fully adjusted to Lincoln and I won't be so homesick anymore...my hubby gets homesick from time to time, but he's not as affected by it like I am.

On a lighter note, I finally got my tulips and dafodils planted! I can't wait to see them wake up early next spring (april-may) my mom told me to feed them bonemeal for the hrad nebraska winter to come, so i did that...and planted them 6-8 inches down...found a few earth worm friends as I was digging...haven't found a nice statue to put in the garden yet, hopefully I will find something of a religious nature, like the blessed mother. My mom had one of those in her garden for years...I want to keep that tradtion up.

This morning I went and mailed off my first few packages here in Lincoln...and also went to this cute fabric store called the cosmic cow....weird name, but a very charming store on the inside. So I bought a few fat quarters of amy butler fabric of which I haven't aquired yet...so I will close for now, drink some sleepy time tea to soothe my sore tummy, and make some luch after a bit depending if my tummy feels better.

Pictures Of The House

Where I relax and unwind from my day, my bedroom on the second floor, and yes, the mattresses are on the floor, we haven't gotten a bed frame yet...

Also in my studio, here is my honey bunches hooking up my brand new laptop computer he gave me! I just love my handy man!

My studio with all of my minxden pillows...oh yeah and the birdies found their home in here too...

This is all of our crap when we moved in back on Nov. 1st

This is the other side of the living room...

The House...

This is part of my living room, you cab see the front door entrance to the far right, and just to the left of the front door is the entry way to my studio, and you can also see the stairway that goes upto the bedroom and the doorway to the far left is the bathroom...

A Face To A Name

May I introduce, "Jacks"...he was just lounging on my front porch yesterday afternoon...isn't he cute???

He's Back!

I was sitting outside on my porch tonight when I saw movement across the street...It was little Jacks the neighborhood cat walking along the sidewalk towards the house where he lives...I knew he wanted to get home so I didn't bother calling him over, but this is the sad part, he gets over to his house and he props himself onto his hind legs and scratches the front door and meows...no response from within, so he leaps onto a window sill and does the same thing...still no response. 15 minutes pass by and I just decided to call him over...he hears me and he makes the slow short walk of about 30 yards over to my house and trots onto my front porch. I was so happy to see him, it had been about 5 days! He looked very hungry and thirsty so I call out to my hubby who was right inside the house to fetch him some food and water. A moment later, my hubby hands me the essentials for little jacks to nourish himself with. He gets right to eating and after eating some of his food, he hangs out with me and purrs thankfully and rubs up on my legs. What a sweet little guy he is, but at the same time I am sad because I know his owner doesn't feed him as much as he needs, let alone give him water. Jacks is a brown and white lanky cat with his ribs showing and whenever i caress his backside, I can feel every little bump along his spine. All that poor creature needs is love and attention and food. I sure gave him what he needed. Poor little fella. I was always told to be kind to those in need, to me that includes animals that need someone. Jacks souly depends on the kindness of his neighbors, and he now knows that whenever he visits, he will get fed and recieve love and attention. Jacks decided to rest on my soft doormat tonight, which he is more than welcome to...I gave him a tender kiss on the top of his weary head and bid him a goodnight. Jacks is my new little companion, and I thank God for little miracles like this.

lazy day

this whole week seemed to be so busy for me, so I ahve decided to stay in the house today with my hubby and just relax, and do a little light unpacking here and there...right now I am washing my "flowers blankie", this blanket I have had for going on 24 years now, and yes, as a married 27 year old grown up I still sleep with it every night. It needed a good washing anyway in my new washer/dryer set.

My cat, ci-ci just came up to me to say hi. She is such a curious cat, she has always been fascinated whenever I type in my laptop...Sabrina is also very happy with the house, her personality seems to be so much better than when she lived in the apartment with me! Still haven't seen Mr. Jacks outside, I actually wonder if something happened to him! I will keep a lookout for him daily.

My hubby really enjoys his new tv and playstation 3. It's hard to peel him off the couch since he got it, but he has always wanted those very badly, I should just let him have his fun. Just 3 more days until my hubby goes back to work at his new location, he's pretty nervous he says. I think he will do just fine. I will be looking for a job early next week, or however long it takes to find a part time job. I have decided to seek part time because I will be working also part time for my etsy shop and I heard 2 part timers equal a full timer. lol.

I'm sure on where to begin on job hunting, but I think I will look on craigslist.com since that very website helped me find a home in less than 2 weeks. I recieved a nice letter from my mom last night in the mail! I was so excited to get my very first hand written letter in Lincoln! yay! I just sat on my porch, didn't even make it inside my house and just read it. It has always been so comforting to get letters from my mom, she started this trend when I went off to college 60 miles away. And over the years, it just stuck on and she has written me off and on for over 8 years, since I left the nest. I always write her back.

Now Sabrina is on my new desk just hanging out. My hubby bought me a new desk for my office, it's not too big, but it's really cute! He got it at target, and the wood color is just gorgeous!well, I am running out of things so say, so I will stop for now. Have a great day y'all!

All A New

A very eventful day today...just bought a 32" flat screen tv, well my hubby picked it out...that and he got a play station 3 to go with his tv....I told him, no more gadgets, we've spent enough! well we went and took another gander at Lincoln...I got some salt water taffy that tastes just like the taffy I remember eating as a kid in colorado on hot summer days. I am thinking I am going to buy a few bags of it and give some to my mom, who also has the same love for taffy...

we tried out a new restaurant today, y'all ever heard of noodles and company? well, we went there and it was so good! joe got the japanese pan noodles and I got the mushroom beef stroganoff. I want to go back and try something new as soon as I can! We find something new everyday in Lincoln, but the traffic will always be bad everywhere we go...I still haven't ventured out in my own car yet, but will have to soon when I go look for a job.

It's been 2-3 days since I have seen little jacks, he's such a sweet cat, and I have grown quite fond of him. I might set out some food for him tonight, maybe he will come back and eat it.